PART 1 in the Tax Season Entertainment Series
For tax returns over 19 feet tall (GE’s 57,000 pager) use the General Electric Slide to avoid paying any tax.
As you are going through the tax code in preparation for tax season, it may help to sing along with Marcia Griffith’s line dance favorite.
You can’t see it… it’s electric!
You gotta feel it… it’s electric!
Ooh, it’s shakin’…. it’s electric!
You gotta know it… it’s electric!
Now you can’t hold it… it’s electric!
But you know it’s there… it’s electric!
Boogie Woogie Woogie
You know that feeling when the music starts. It’s quarterly earnings season and you gotta get your grove on. It’s time for the lobbyist line dance. You’re a global corporation awash in cash, answering to no one except your shareholders (Charlie Rangel school contributions withstanding) and able and willing to set up shell corporations and workarounds at will. Whether it’s corralling your cash in Reno, Nevada (i.e. Apple’s Braeburn Capital world’s largest hedge fund), doubling down in Dublin with the “Double Irish” (i.e. General Electric jet engine lease loophole) or a tax free picnic on the beaches of Bermuda with a tasty “Dutch Sandwich” (Google shelters $10 billion http://techtalk.dice.com/t5/Tech-Nation-Discussion/Google-Double-Irish-and-Dutch-Sandwich/td-p/318442) the goal is singular in it’s duplicity; enhance shareholder value while avoiding jail time.
Are “things” starting to feel a little unconventional to you? Here’s a good example of just what Dave’s talking about. You know all about the trillion dollar platinum coin. Even Ron Paul weighed in on it in his most recent editorial here (http://www.eurasiareview.com/21012013-ron-paul-krugmans-trillion-dollar-coin-is-not-real-wealth-oped/). Let’s contrast a single coin made of platinum, yet stamped with a trillion dollar value with a single gold coin worth $55 million dollars yet stamped with a value of only $1 million dollars.
That’s right. Just such a coin does exist and unlike the yet to be minted trillion dollar “trinket” (stands for trillion dollar keynesianet coin) which would no doubt impact the plastic auto coin sortation/gifts for eight year-olds current silo segmentations of penny-nickel-dime-quarter-”golden” sacajawea- platinum trinket… in that order… resulting in a boost to the injection molding coin bank industry (not to mention the required refitting of the entire fleet of gold bullion ATM vending machines in Dubai) this “not just golden but gold too” whopper would undoubtedly boost aggregate demand.
If your annual Ripley’s Believe It Or Not membership from Groupon has expired and you’re looking for something to do with the family on a rainy Saturday in Australia, then you can go see the famous one ton Red Kanagroo gold coin at the Perth Mint for yourself. It was even approved by Her Majesty The Queen (the England one, not the Latifah one) as legal tender although the soda vending industry has been slow to respond to adapting their machines for kangaroo coin acceptance as they are obviously to embattled with the whole high fructose corn syrup infused Mayoral movement to regulate soda sizes that keeping up with coin sizes within a framework where choosing between Bloomberg radio, Bloomberg bond terminals and frozen Weight Watcher meals is surmised in the TBTF slogan “there’s simply no alternative” to bigger coins.
I can’t say that I was surprised to see Ron Paul invoke anarcho capitalist Hans-Hermann Hoppe in his dismissal of Paul Krugman. I’ll get back to that choice later. For now, please allow me to provide an addendum to Dr. Paul’s questioning of Keynesian wealth creation.
(Hoppe’s list c/o Ron Paul)
I. If governments of central banks really can create wealth simply by creating money, why does poverty exist anywhere on earth?
II. Why haven’t successive rounds of quantitative easing by the US Fed solve our economic recession?
III. If Fed money creation really works, and doesn’t create inflation, why haven’t Americans gotten richer as the money supply has grown?
(Dave’s addendum c/o Dave)
IV. If the Treasury can mint a trillion dollar coin, why don’t they just mint one to settle everyone’s tax liability and call it a day. That ought to stimulate some spending.
We tend to forget since the Supreme Court’s decision in the Citizen’s United v. FEC case that only corporations have feelings. People have feelings too. Just look at the awesome golfer and pharmaceutical industry spokesperson for Enbrel Phil Mickelson. He was talking about moving out of California due to the onerous tax regime. Then there’s that famous French actor. I know he’s famous because I saw him in one movie that my wife rented from Red Box appropriately titled Green Card.
Gerard Depardieu is defecting from France where he’s no doubt a beloved star of the big screen and trading in his baguettes for a pair of surplus Russian Army boots in an effort to avoid the encroachment of socialism’s most successful attribute which Dave will graphically explain rather than go on some tangent that starts with Marx & Engels (not the bagel shop, the communists) before a sheepherding stopover (to quote President Obama – you couldn’t make this stuff up) at the White House office of Information Policy before returning back to Harvard to re-assume the position as chief sausage grinder (government of laws in one end and a government of men emerge from the other) amongst behavioral economists packing the casings of the Felix Frankfurter Chair of Law (the behavioral version rather than the letter version) at Harvard.
“Cass has shepherded our review of existing rules to get rid of those that cost too much…” President Obama
WE INTERRUPT OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING TO BRING YOU THE FOLLOWING SPECIAL BULLETIN
The blog post titled “Trade Regimes With Dave (or Phil, or Gerard)” which the production thereof was originally undertaken on Tuesday, January 22 with intentions of completing it by Wednesday, January 23 encountered unanticipated events. Due to the fact that the former President of France, one Nicholas Sarkozy, husband of the Parrot Zik noise cancelling headphone promoter Carla Bruni (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QPX9-1LUi0) is now parroting back in an negative feedback loop to the 75% tax rate collectors of France his personal brand of patriotic strategery by relocating to England. Based on this development (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2266331/Nicolas-Sarkozy-Carla-Bruni-dodge-new-French-tax-hike-moving-London-setting-1billion-fund.html) the producers of the blog (namely Dave) have made a determination that the blog post must be retitled to “Trade Regimes With Dave (or Phil, or Gerard, or Nicholas) to more accurately portray the true nature, agility and dance moves required to do the electric slide, generally speaking as in Generally Electric.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
Now that we’ve got our patriotic loyalties on the straight and narrow and the wide road to regime change appears to lead straight to the home of the Electric Sliders extraordinaire and the collapsing pound sterling (aka the City of London), let’s take a look at Ron Paul’s attempt to define true wealth and Dave’s warning you up front. You might not like where I’m taking you on this one. Keep in mind that when your biggest export is the importation of the clearing of derivatives (interest rate swaps, bonds and repos) ala the LCH Clearnet, then you’re not like Japan banging out rental cars where “There’s Hertz or hurts and there’s not exactly.” Sterling collapse hurts.
To quote Ron Paul’s article quoting Hoppe, the discovery of a platinum wealth pony and the subsequent room search and proclamation that there must be a Krugmanian externality in here somewhere due to the aroma of accounting “Tricks” are for kids! (U. S. Treasury coin seigniorage not withstanding);
Fiat currency is not wealth, and the creation of more fiat dollars does not mean that more rice, steel, soybeans, Ipads, or Honda Accords suddenly come into existence. The creation of new fiat currency simply strengthens a fantasy balance sheet, either by adding to cash reserves or servicing debt. But this balance sheet wealth is an illusion, just as the notion we can continue to raise the debt limit and borrow money forever is an illusion.
Dave would suggest that there’s a decent argument that in the Campaign for Liberty that those Ipads and rice patties might come up a bit short when it comes to exhibiting a non-illusory notion of genuine wealth. Before you attempt to wrestle down the idea of full faith and confidence and how it forms the conscious link between the wealth of Benjamins (Bernanke and Franklin paper versions) and an equivalent physical manifestation in the form of say a Tomahawk missle or trying to stuff both Larry Hagman and Barbara Eden back into the military industrial complexity of a single bottle containing both “I have a dream” and “I have a drone.”
(to be continued quicker than you can say “Oh, but copyright Master, TradeWithDave is not a Screen Gems Production”).